“Calvin said, "Do you know that this is the first time I've seen you without your glasses?""I'm blind as a bat without them. I'm near-sighted, like father.""Well, you know what, you've got dream-boat eyes," Calvin said. "Listen, you go right on wearing your glasses. I don't think I want anybody else to see what gorgeous eyes you have.”

“Don't sit there watching TV without your glasses! Do you want to ruin your eyes?!""My opthalmologist says that not wearing glasses cannot hurt the eyes even if those glasses are badly needed for adequate vision.""What does your opthalmologist think of the foreign situation?”

“Most of all, I want you to know without a doubt that I've got your back. And your front. And your sides. I've got all of you and I'm not letting go.”

“Dad: Honey, have you seen my glasses? I can"t find them.Mom: I haven't seen them.Calvin: (with glasses, to Dad) Calvin, go do something you hate! Being miserable builds character!”

“[Calvin and Hobbes are playing Scrabble.] Calvin: Ha! I've got a great word and it's on a "Double word score" box! Hobbes: "ZQFMGB" isn't a word! It doesn't even have a vowel! Calvin: It is so a word! It's a worm found in New Guinea! Everyone knows that! Hobbes: I'm looking it up. Calvin: You do, and I'll look up that 12-letter word you played with all the Xs and Js! Hobbes: What's your score for ZQFMGB? Calvin: 957.”

“It's a secret code," said Calvin. "Girls are not not like boys. If a boy wants to kill you, he says 'I'm going to kill you.' If a girl wants to kill you, she says, 'We need to talk.' That's the code."I gasped. "Has a girl ever wanted to talk to you?" I asked. "Yup," said Calvin."How come you're still alive?" I asked."I vomited," said Calvin.”