“If we commit ourselves to one person for life, this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather, it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession but participation.”
In this quote by Madeleine L'Engle, the author explores the idea of commitment in relationships and how it is often misunderstood as a loss of freedom. L'Engle suggests that committing to one person for life is not a rejection of freedom but instead requires courage to embrace the risks and uncertainties that come with true love.
By stating, "If we commit ourselves to one person for life, this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom,” L'Engle challenges the common perception that commitment limits individual freedom. Instead, she argues that true love requires individuals to fully engage in the risks and challenges of freedom, including the vulnerability that comes with giving oneself completely to another person.
Furthermore, L'Engle emphasizes the distinction between possession and participation in love. She suggests that true love is not about owning or controlling another person, but rather about actively engaging in a mutual relationship of give and take. Through this perspective, L'Engle encourages readers to embrace the courage needed to commit to a lifelong partnership based on love and respect.
Overall, L'Engle's quote challenges traditional notions of freedom and commitment in relationships, highlighting the depth and complexity of true love.
In a society that values individualism and independence, the idea of committing to one person for life can be seen as outdated or restrictive. However, Madeleine L'Engle's words remind us that true commitment is not about giving up our freedom, but about embracing a different kind of freedom - the freedom to fully engage in a deep and meaningful relationship. By committing to another person, we are not losing ourselves, but rather expanding our capacity for love and connection. It takes courage to navigate the complexities of a long-term relationship, but the rewards of genuine partnership and shared experiences are immeasurable.
"If we commit ourselves to one person for life, this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather, it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession but participation." - Madeleine L'Engle.
In this quote by Madeleine L'Engle, she explores the idea of commitment, freedom, and love. Reflect on the following questions to deepen your understanding of these concepts:
“Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created, so that, together we become a new creature. To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take…If we commit ourselves to one person for life this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession, but participation…It takes a lifetime to learn another person…When love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that co-creation which is our human calling, and which implies such risk that it is often rejected.”
“What I must learn is to love with all of me, giving all of me, and yet remain whole in myself. Any other kind of love is too demanding of the other; it takes, rather than gives. To love so completely that you lose yourself in another person is not good. You are giving a weight, not the sense of lightness and light that loving someone should give.”
“If we are not willing to fail we will never accomplish anything. All creative acts involve the risk of failure.”
“Like all great fantasists, he has taught me about life, life in eternity rather than chronology, life in that time in which we are real.”
“I was at the annual meeting of a state library association a few years later, when the children were in the process of leaving the nest, and one of the librarians asked me, "What do you think you and Hugh have done which was the best for your children?"I answered immediately and without thinking, "We love each other.”
“The earth will never be the same againRock, water, tree, iron, share this greifAs distant stars participate in the pain.A candle snuffed, a falling star or leaf,A dolphin death, O this particular lossA Heaven-mourned; for if no angel criedIf this small one was tossed away as dross,The very galaxies would have lied.How shall we sing our love's song nowIn this strange land where all are born to die?Each tree and leaf and star show howThe universe is part of this one cry,Every life is noted and is cherished,and nothing loved is ever lost or perished.”