“Now, here. The Warlord sent a likeness of himself.” Sally frowned, but leaned in for a good long stare. “He looks like a dirty fingerprint.” “Of course he doesn’t,” replied her father, squinting at the portrait. “You can see his eyes, right there.” “I thought those were his nostrils.” “Well, you’re not going to be picky, are you? At least he has a face.” “Yes,” Sally replied dryly. “What a miracle.”

“Kidnappings, magic, long-lost love of my life. Nothing to rock the boat. All in a day’s work.”“Of course,” he said dryly. “Which is why you’re calling me in the middle of the night while I’m on myhoneymoon.”“Man, you’ve been married three months. The honeymoon is over. ““Not until we leave Russia,” Artur said. “And never even after that.”Which was like hearing the Incredible Hulk start talking like Gandhi.”

“Jesus, Dean. I don’t know why you have me around with her watching your back”“You’re just jealous. But don’t worry. One day you too will have your very own little Amazon.”“I’ll just settle for a woman.”“If you’re lonely, you can have the inflatable sex doll Blue gave me for my birthday. I don’t want the twoof you to miss out on an opportunity for love.”“You didn’t like her?”“I wasn’t man enough to satisfy her cravings. I’m sure you’ll be different.”

“So what’s all the fuss?” he asked instead. “Where’s all the shit coming from?”Dean told him. He tried to make it concise, using flash words such as “fire” and “conspiracy” and “bigfreakin’ shape-shifter,” and told Roland, too, about Miri and Robert and Kevin. The red jade.“You’re both fucked,” Roland said. “Seriously. I’ll start arranging the funeral now.”“I want a happy boss. Where’s the positive reinforcement?”“Buried with Pollyanna in my backyard. Which is where you’ll be if you don’t play your cards right.”

“I am not a total pervert. Although, to be honest, consider the night we’ve been having. First handcuffs, andnow this? Way more kinky than I expected.”“Please,” M’cal said. “Do not talk.”“You like the strong and silent type, huh?”“If you do not shut up, I will kill you with my voice.”“I love it when you talk dirty.”“Fine. Which would you prefer to lose first? Your soul or your testicles?”“You know, you’re just a bit obsessed with chopping off balls. Do you have issues with your masculinity?”

“Miracles pass and I see. Great wonders speak and I listen.”

“He was a hot, hot former priest and she wanted to pull a Thorn Birds on his ass.”