“I mean, it’s ridiculous,” Dhuey says. “It’s outlandish that our arbitrary choice of cutoff dates is causing these long-lasting effects, and no one seems to care about them.”

“Romance is something people make fun of others for caring about, and yet it’s something that’s very natural to care about—it’s a loving connection between people, like family and friendships: it’s a significant emotional choice people make.”

“The inseparable bond between past and future is the cause and effect of our collective beliefs and the choices influenced by them.”

“reach isn’t describable in terms of cause and effect anymore: it’s simultaneous.”

“Ah-ha! I knew it! Penis problems”“Well, it seems that the cause of some of my problems happens to have a penis. Well, two actually,”“Oh sweet Mary! You’re dating a guy with two dicks?”“Ginger, no! It’s about two different guys.”“Oh,” she says, obviously disappointed. “Damn. That woulda been kinda cool.”

“Should I masturbate before we meet up? I don’t want to be horny and thinking with my dick the whole time. I mean, it’s not like it’s a date. For Pete’s sake, it’s a job interview.”