“Guys who know how to use a blowdryer... Their hair is too long!”

“Genius is of small use to a woman who does not know how to do her hair.”

“I used to think I knew what was right and what was wrong, and who the good guys are, and who the bad guys are. Then the world got very gray, and I didn't know anything for a long time”

“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”

“I stared at them for a good long time, wondering if they didn’t know how to use their wings, of if they just didn’t know they had them, until it was too late to save themselves.”

“So I'm not crazy after all! I thought it looked good myself once I cut it all off. Not one guy likes it, though. They all tell me I look like a first grader or a concentration camp survivor. What's this thing that guys have for girls with long hair? Fascists, the whole bunch of them! Why do guys all think girls with long hair are the classiest, the sweetest, the most feminine? I mean, I myself know at least two hundred and fifty unclassy girls with long hair. Really.”