“Father Angelo makes me uncomfortable. For starters, he's way too good-looking for a priest, his dark bedroom eyes and athletic build arousing exactly the kind of impure thoughts you're supposed to go to church to get rid of.”

“I shouldn't be surprised. Catholicism is the ultimate loophole religion (sin, confess, repeat), so it makes sense that a priest would know better than anyone how to work the angles. Still, when you go to confession and say, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned," you don't expect him to say, "So, who hasn't?”

“There are moments in your life when you see yourself through someone else’s eyes, when your only hope of believing you’re capable of doing something is because someone else believes it for you.”

“But that doesn't stop me from moving about him like a junior high girl lingering by the lifeguard station”

“So I kept reading, just to stay alive. In fact, I'd read two or three books at the same time, so I wouldn't finish one without being in the middle of another -- anything to stop me from falling into the big, gaping void. You see, books fill the empty spaces. If I'm waiting for a bus, or am eating alone, I can always rely on a book to keep me company. Sometimes I think I like them even more than people. People will let you down in life. They'll disappoint you and hurt you and betray you. But not books. They're better than life.”

“Hard work may pay off in the long run, but the benefits of laziness are immediate.”

“I'm a sucker for a guy with a big organ.”