“I like people who have a sense of individuality. I love expression and anything awkward and imperfect, because that’s natural and that’s real.”

“Today was awkward, but I think that’s because it feels like a very awkward time. It isn’t about you, and it isn’tabout love. It’s about everything crashing together at once.”

“Diversity is like a buffet, only with people. That’s why I like associating with individuals who are as close to macaroni and cheese as humanly possible.”

“And as for people shunning us because of our known association with homosexuals”—here she wiggled her eyebrows, because she sounded ridiculously like Joseph McCarthy—“I say we don’t want new members who would think like that. We want people who will admire us for taking a stand and who will say, ‘Yes, that’s Christianity; that’s how I want to live it and that’s the church I want to belong to.”

“I love the smell of cleanliness. That’s what the inside of my nostrils smell like, naturally.”

“I’m not supposed to be anything else than a man that’s stupidly in love with you. That’s what I know.”