“At school, he enacted a major piece of treachery against his parents. His right hand was Evil Dad, and his left was Righteous Mom. Evil Dad blustered and theorized and dished out pompous bullshit. Righteous Mom complained and accused. In Righteous Mom's cosmology, Evil Dad was the sole source of hemmoroids, kleptomania, global conflict, bad breath, tectonic-plate fault lines, and clogged drains, as well as every migraine headache and menstrual cramp Righteous Mom had ever suffered.”

“Pegasus's dad was poseidon, the god of the sea, and his mom was Medusa, and evil Gorgon who had fangs and lizard skin and living snakes for hair. And you thought your family was weird.”

“She's never been touched by a boy who knows what love looks like.I picture Sam's parents, his mom resting her hand in the center of his dad's back and the way his dad leans back against her.”

“Though there is no evil in righteousness, there is in self-righteousness,”

“Nick!' I flinch. 'What?' Jo widens her eyes at Mom. 'Forget it, Jo,' Mom says. 'He's not ready.''Yes, I am,' I tell her. 'I know I don't have a dad. Kenny DiPoto doesn't have a dad either because his dad got knifed in jail.''Geezus,' Jo breathes. 'What kind of neighbourhood is this?”

“Inconsistent parenting creates confusion. When I'm pitting mom against dad, they never know what to expect.”