“Miley Cyrus made some chinky eyesStanding behind an Asian guyI don’t know if this should flyAs if there wasn’t enough to despiseI wasn’t necessarily a fan ofHer, her dad, or Hannah MontanaI tend to prefer the songs of RihannaRacism against Asians is simply bananas!Oh Miley!Chinky eyes make you look wilyprejudice isn’t thought of so highlyit doesn’t make us all smileyWhy is there nothing that Asians can do?To make fun of other races as easily as youWhy isn’t racism against Asians taboo?Why are we always so racially screwed!All you have to do is pull at your faceTo make your eyelids resemble our raceThis kind of joke has no proper placeMiley Cyrus is a disgrace!”

“Checking a box on a form for race—"Caucasian," "Hispanic," "African-American," "Native American," or "Asian-American"—is untenable and ridiculous. For one thing, "American" is not a race, so labels such as "Asian-American" and "African-American" are still exhibits of our confusion of culture and race. For another thing, how far back does one go in history? Native Americans are really Asians, if you go back more than twenty or thirty thousand years to before they crossed the Bering land bridge between Asia and America. And Asians, several hundred thousand years ago probably came out of Africa, so we should really replace "Native American" with "African-Asian-Native American." Finally, if the Out of Africa (single racial origin) theory holds true, then all modern humans are from Africa. (Cavalli-Sforza now thinks this may have been as recently as seventy thousand years ago.) Even if that theory gives way to the Candelabra (multiple racial origins) theory, ultimately all hominids came from Africa, and therefore everyone in America should simply check the box next to "African-American.”

“Got any mood music?”“If you press Play on the stereo you’re going to hear Miley Cyrus.”“I don’t know who that is.”“Count your blessings.”

“Everyone is now required to adopt one Asian baby. Even Asians.”

“I will defend the absolute value of Mozart over Miley Cyrus, of course I will, but we should be wary of false dichotomies. You do not have to choose between one or the other. You can have both. The human cultural jungle should be as varied and plural as the Amazonian rainforest. We are all richer for biodiversity. We may decide that a puma is worth more to us than a caterpillar, but surely we can agree that the habitat is all the better for being able to sustain each.”

“It's the same thing that makes all pop music so heartbreaking. Even when Miley Cyrus sings "So I put my hands up, they're playin' my song / The butterflies fly away / I'm noddin' my head like 'Yeah!' / Movin' my hips like 'Yeah!'" in her song "Party in the U.S.A." It's that chirping mirth against a backdrop of despair, that juxtaposition of blithe optimism against all the crushing brutalities and inadequacies of life. The image of an ineffably beautiful butterfly flitting by the shattered windows of a dilapidated, abandoned factory is not so poignant because it highlights the indomitable life force. To the contrary, the butterfly (and the pop song) is like a PowerPoint cursor; it's there to whet our perception of and strengthen our affinity for what's moribund, for what's always dying before our eyes. Loving the moribund is our way of signaling the dead from this shore: "We are your kinsmen...”