“men are so conceited they’ll believe anything that flatters them”

“You can’t do anything to please anybody or say anything to please them or even dress so they’ll be happy and give you a smile.”

“For, to conceited men, all other men are admirers.”

“But the conceited man did not hear him. Conceited people never hear anything but praise.”

“There's much we can all do for men, including helping them feel wanted without their having to do anything life threatening. Perhaps women always knew this instinctively, which is why we tend to flatter our men and laugh at all their jokes, letting them think they're funnier than women.”

“And your parents, believe me—I don’t care what kind of relationship you’ve got with them—they’ll take you up on that offer. You share that sandwich with them—are you hearing me?—you share that glory sandwich with them and they’ll love you forever.”