“ "Turn my back on the world..." the historian repeated softly and slowly, his head moving to face the mage. "Turn my back on the world!" Emotion rarely marred the surface of Astinus's cold voice, but now anger struck the placid calm of his soul like a rock hurled into still water."I? Turn my back on the world?" Astinus's voice rolled around the library as the thunder had rolled previously. "I am the world, as you well know, old friend! Countless times I have been born! Countless deaths I have died! Every tear shed - mine have flowed! Every drop of blood spilled - mine has drained! Every agony, every joy ever felt has been mine to share!"I sit with my hand on the Sphere of Time, the sphere you made for me, old friend, and I travel the length and breadth of this world chronicling its history. I have committed the blackest deeds! I have made the noblest sacrifices. I am human, elf, and ogre. I am male and female. I have borne children. I have murdered children. I saw you as you were. I see you as you are. If I seem cold and unfeeling, it is because that is how I survive without losing my sanity! My passion goes into my words.”
In this powerful quote from Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman's novel, the historian Astinus passionately expresses his role in the world. Astinus's anger and emotion, rare for him, are palpable as he confronts the mage. He asserts that he embodies the world's history, experiencing all its joys and sorrows. Despite his seeming lack of emotion, his passion is channeled into his words as he chronicles the world's every event with unwavering dedication and understanding. Astinus's words convey his deep connection to humanity and the profound impact it has had on him.
In this powerful excerpt from Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman's work, the character of Astinus grapples with the weight of being a historian who bears witness to the world's joys and sorrows throughout time. His impassioned speech about the interconnectedness of all beings and the importance of chronicling history resonates deeply in today's society, where the value of understanding the past and acknowledging the shared experiences of humanity is more important than ever. Astinus's proclamation serves as a reminder of the significance of empathy, compassion, and diligent record-keeping in shaping our understanding of the world.
In this passage from Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman's novel, the historian Astinus vehemently rejects the idea of turning his back on the world. His impassioned speech reveals the depth of his connection to the world and his role in chronicling its history.
This powerful exchange between the historian Astinus and the mage raises deep questions about the nature of identity, empathy, and the burden of observing history unfold. Consider the following reflection questions as you think about the implications of these words:
How does Astinus's unique role as the chronicler of history shape his perception of himself and his connection to the world?
In what ways does Astinus's declaration of being "the world" challenge traditional notions of individuality and personal identity?
How do Astinus's words speak to the complexities of experiencing the full range of human emotions and experiences, both light and dark?
Reflect on the idea of survival versus sanity in the face of overwhelming historical knowledge. How does Astinus's grasp on "cold and unfeeling" language contrast with the depth of his internal passion?
How does the historian's intimate relationship with history and time reflect on the role of memory, storytelling, and the constant interplay between past, present, and future?
“I have no objection whatever to your representing me as a little eccentric, since you and your learned friends would have it so; only don't set me on in my fury to burning hearthrugs, sawing the backs off chairs, and tearing my wife's silk gowns... Had I been numbered amongst the calm, concentric men of the world, I should not have been as I now am, and I should in all probability never have had such children as mine have been.”
“Reed’s face inches closer to mine on the pillow as he says, “Let me try to explain something to you, Evie. All of these years that I have been here, it is as if I have been sleeping. I have to always pretend to be something that I am not—pretend to be human. When I am not pretending to be human, then I am hunting evil, vicious angels who want nothing more than to…” his voice trails off and there is hollowness in his tone that reflects the loneliness of his existence. “But now, I am awake, for the first time in my existence, and not only am I awake, but I feel flames when you are near me. You have changed things for me. There is no reason to pretend around you. If I had to live without you now…now that I know what I have been missing…” The need in his voice makes me want to promise him anything, give him anything, just to fill that void in him. “I cannot go back to sleep, Evie. You are the only thing that makes me want to live. If you leave here, if you ascend to Paradise, or even if you are cast into the abyss, or taken there by the Fallen…I will have to follow you, no matter where you go. Even if I have to pursue you into the dark…if you cease to be, then so will I. You are my sin and my redemption.”
“Who what am I? My answer: I am everyone everything whose being-in-the-world affected was affected by mine. I am anything that happens after I’ve gone which would not have happened if I had not come. Nor am I particularly exceptional in this matter; each ‘I’, every one of the now-six-hundred-million-plus of us, contains a similar multitude. I repeat for the last time: to understand me, you’ll have to swallow the world.”
“I love you," he said, and it felt as if the whole world settled into place when he finally told her. "I love you, and I cannot bear the thought of a moment without you. I want you at my side and in my bed. I want you to bear my children, and I want every bloody person in the world to know that you are mine.”
“By God, I shall spend the rest of my life getting my heart back, healing and forgetting every scar you put upon me when I was a child. The first move I ever made, after the cradle, was to crawl for the door, and every move I have made since has been an effort to escape.”