“What, are you like Buffy or something? A vampire slayer?”I wish. “No, but my sister is. And my boyfriend’s a vampire so I know a lot about their kind.”Jayden shrinks back from me, wide-eyed.“No, no. He’s one of the good ones. Not all vampires are evil,” I assure him.“So…you’re dating…Edward Cullen.”“Sure, if you have to relate it all to a Stephenie Meyer book,” I grudgingly agree. “But don’t say that to Magnus’s face. He’s a card-carrying member of Team Jacob. Even has the T-shirt.”

“I had no right to want you — but I reached out and took you anyway. And now look what’s become of you! Trying to seduce a vampire."(Edward Cullen, Eclipse)~Stephenie Meyer”

“Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.”

“Digger motioned to Zoltan. “What about that one? He has funny eyes. Could be an alien.”“He’s Zoltan, a vampire like me,” Phineas explained.“Are you sure? Zoltan sounds like an alien planet.”

“I actually thought you would be kind," said the vampire."Go away!" screamed Devnee.He did not answer."I didn't have to be kind," Devnee told him. "Victoria was kind for me."He laughed."No one can be kind for you, my dear," said the vampire. "But I don't mind, of course. I have you now. There's no escape, my dear. You and I, Devnee Fountain, are a team.”

“I was going to fight vampires, and my name wasn't Buffy--I was so screwed.”