“Dear Abby,My boyfriend won't suck my blood. I've offered, I've cajoled. I've even begged, even though begging is totally humiliating and degrading because I'm so afraid that if he doesn't, he's going to die. Oh, and did I mention he's a vampire? No, really, the undead kind.Signed,Confused in Texas.Dear Confused:What the Fuck!?”

“„You don't really want to do this. I'm a good vampire – I mean, like, a vampire with a soul, not that I'm really good at, you know, vamp-stuff. I'm not some monster. Heck, I've only been a vampire for less than a week! I've never even sucked blood” I ducked under the blade and backflipped away. „Really! You can ask my parents! My mum's a university professor, she's a very trustworthy character reference!”

“Just because I've gone and snagged myself a hot boyfriend doesn't mean I'm going to leave my bestfriend high and dry.”

“Mr. Towers, you are going to have to beg for that.” He lets out a loud chuckle, “Beg?” “Oh, Ms Austen, just wait for what you are in store for this evening. Begging doesn’t even begin to describe what I am going to make you do,” he smiles seductively.”

“Prince Charming can go suck rocks. I've met my true love and he's a contractor”

“I'm tired again, I've tried again, and now my heart is full.And I just can't explain...so I won't even try to.”