“Do you really want to know why you lost?” I asked.“Do you really have an answer?” he countered.“You need to get off your horse and run with your men. You don’t have the stamina for a long fight. And find a lighter sword.”“But it was my uncle’s.”“You’re not your uncle.”“But I’m the King, and this is the King’s sword,” Cahil said. His brows creased together. He seemed confused.“So wear it to your coronation,” I said. “If you use it in battle, you’ll be wearing it to your funeral,” I said.”

“We’re both drunk,”“This isn’t right,” he said.“I want you.”“I need you to say it,” he said.“I’ll say whatever you want.”“Then say that you belong to me. Say that you’ll take me back. I won’t do this unless we’re together.”“We’ve never really been apart, have we?” “I need to hear you say it. I need to know you’re mine.”“I’ve been yours since the second we met.”“Say it again,”he said.“I’m yours,” I breathed. Every nerve, inside and out ached for more. “I don’t ever want to be apart from you again.”“Promise me,”“I love you. I’ll love you forever.”

“You didn't know I could do that, did you?" he asked, conversationally."I did not, Your Majesty," Teleus gasped."My grandfather killed a man that way once, using the edge of the wooden sword.""I hadn't realized the Thieves of Eddis were so warlike.""They aren't, mostly. But like all men, Teleus, I have two grandfathers." Teleus rolled his eyes to look up at him, and the king said, "One of mine was Eddis.""Ah," said Teleus."Ah, indeed," said the king.”

“What are my options?""You could read obscure poetry while I play the triangle, I suppose. Or we can smother ourselves in peanut butter and howl at the moon. Use your imagination.""Fine,"I said. "You take my hand and back up toward the bed.""Excellent choice. What then?""You sit down, and pull me down with you.""Where are you?" he asked."You pull me onto your lap.""Where are your legs?""Around your waist.""Well," Noah said, his voice slightly rough. "This is getting interesting. So I'm on the edge of your bed. I'm holding you on my lap as you straddle me. My arms are around you, bracing you there so you don't fall. What am I wearing?"..."What do you usually wear to bed?" I asked.Noah said nothing. I opened my eyes to an arched brow and a devious grin.Oh my God."Close. Your. Eyes," he said. I did. "Now, where were we?""I was straddling you," I said."Right. And I'm wearing...""Drawstring pants.""Those are quite thin, you know."I'm aware...."Right," he said. "So what are you wearing?""I don't know. A space suit. Who cares?""I think this should be as vivid as possible," he said. "For you," he clarified, and I chuckled. "Eyes closed," he reminded me. "I'm going to have to institute a punishment for each time I have to tell you.""What did you have in mind?""Don't tempt me. Now, what are you wearing?""A hoodie and drawstring pants too, I guess.""Anything underneath?""I don't typically walk around without underwear.""Typically?""Only on special occasions.""Christ. I meant under your hoodie.""A tank top, I guess.""What color?""White tank. Black hoodie. Gray pants. I'm ready to move on now."I felt him nearer, his words close to my ear. "To the part where I lean back and pull you down with me?"Yes."Over me," he said.Fuck."The part where I tell you that I want to feel the softness of the curls at the nape of your neck? To know what your hipbone would feel like against my mouth?" he murmured against my skin. "To memorize the slope of your navel and the arch of your neck and the swell of your-”

“I slammed the water off hard enough to make it clack, got out of the shower, dried, and started getting dressed in a fresh set of secondhand clothes.“Why do you wear those?” asked Lacuna. I jumped, stumbled, and shouted half of a word to a spell, but since I was only halfway done putting on my underwear, I mostly just fell on my naked ass.“Gah!” I said. “Don’t do that!” My miniature captive came to the edge of the dresser and peered down at me.“Don’t ask questions?”“Don’t come in here all quiet and spooky and scare me like that!”“You’re six times my height, and fifty times my weight,” Lacuna said gravely. “And I’ve agreed to be your captive. You don’t have any reason to be afraid.”“Not afraid,” I snapped back. “Startled. It isn’t wise to startle a wizard!”“Why not?”“Because of what could happen!”“Because they might fall down on the floor?”“No!” I snarled. Lacuna frowned and said, “You aren’t very good at answering questions.” I started shoving myself into my clothes. “I’m starting to agree with you.”“So why do you wear those?” I blinked. “Clothes?” “Yes. You don’t need them unless it’s cold or raining.”“You’re wearing clothes.”“I am wearing armor. For when it is raining arrows. Your T-shirt will not stop arrows.”“No, it won’t.” I sighed. Lacuna peered at my shirt. “Aer-O-Smith. Arrowsmith. Does the shirt belong to your weapon dealer?”“No.”“Then why do you wear the shirt of someone else’s weapon dealer?” That was frustrating in so many ways that I could avoid a stroke only by refusing to engage. “Lacuna,” I said, “humans wear clothes. It’s one of the things we do. And as long as you are in my service, I expect you to do it as well.”“Why?”“Because if you don’t, I  .  .  . I  .  .  . might pull your arms out of your sockets.” At that, she frowned. “Why?”“Because I have to maintain discipline, don’t I?”“True,” she said gravely. “But I have no clothes.”I counted to ten mentally. “I’ll  .  .  . find something for you. Until then, no desocketing. Just wear the armor. Fair enough?” Lacuna bowed slightly at the waist. “I understand, my lord.”“Good.” I sighed. I flicked a comb through my wet hair, for all the good it would do, and said, “How do I look?” “Mostly human,” she said.“That’s what I was going for.”“You have a visitor, my lord.” I frowned. “What?” “That is why I came in here. You have a visitor waiting for you.”I stood up, exasperated. “Why didn’t you say so?”Lacuna looked confused. “I did. Just now. You were there.” She frowned thoughtfully. “Perhaps you have brain damage.”“It would not shock me in the least,” I said.“Would you like me to cut open your skull and check, my lord?” she asked. Someone that short should not be that disturbing. “I  .  .  . No. No, but thank you for the offer.”“It is my duty to serve,” Lacuna intoned. My life, Hell’s bells.”

“Augustus," I said. "Really. You don't have to do this.""Sure I do," he said. "I found my Wish.""God, you're the best," I told him."I bet you say that to all the boys who finance your international travel," he answered.”