“…I have all these questions in my head. Like, Could we write? Before you go, could we do something? I mean, is this honestly the last time I see you? But I don’t ask. Because Who knows? Instead I hug him. and I am hugged. Hard. And for a long time we stay that way. I feel his chin on my hair, the weight of his head on mine. I think, this is Jonathan. I know Jonathan. And he knows me.”

“But suddenly, after all this time, I feel there is something to say, and if I don'tquickly write it down, my head will burst. It doesn't matter if you read it. Itdoesn't even matter if I send it - assuming that could be done. Perhaps it comes down to this. I am writing to you because you know nothing. Because you are faraway from me and know nothing.”

“I have seen many woman in my time. I have seen what love looks like. I have waited my entire life for you. I know you well enough to know I love you and you love me. You may not know it yet but you do. It’s as though my soul is married to yours. I knew the first time I looked at you. I was trying to take things slowly, after all we are at war, but seeing you with her. Knowing what could have happened. Knowing I could have lost you. We don’t have time to take it slowly. I can’t guarantee we will be here tomorrow. I love you. It’s that simple.”

“Why do you do that?” Torrin’s voice echoes in the empty hall. His hand is holding my arm gently, not at all like Derek does. I can’t have this. I can’t. I shouldn’t have ever come here with him. I draw in a shaky breath and pull my arm away. “Do what?” “Walk away every time I ask you something personal?” I stare hard at him. “Why do you do that? He blinks. “Huh?” “Ask so many questions.” His mouth drops open and closes and five long seconds pass before he says, “It’s what people do, Quinn. When they’re getting to know each other.” I shake my head and spin toward the door. “You don’t want to get to know me.”

“He gives me a kiss that barely touches my lips – it means nothing or everything. After he’s gone, I think, Happy birthday to me.Jack says, ‘That was the guy?’‘That was him.’Jake shakes his head.‘What?’‘He’s not for you,’ he says.I say, ‘How do you know?’ but what I mean is, How do you know?‘He’s like Ashley Wilkes,’ he says. ‘Any one of these guys is Rhett-ier than he is.’Again, I ask my benignly inflected, ‘How do you know?’‘How do I know?’ he says, tackling me into a bear hug. ‘How do I know? I know, that’s how I know.”

“Yesterday, when we were packing, Julius asked me,"If you could rub Tulip out of your past life, would you do it?"And I had to shake my head. I can't regret the times we had together. Sometimes I worry I won't have times like that again, that there will be no lit nights, no incandescent days. But I know it's not true. There can be colour in a million ways. I know I'll find it on my own.”