“Most of the world's problems could be avoided if people just said what they fucking meant.”

“Most misunderstandings in the world could be avoided if people would simply take the time to ask, "What else could this mean?”

“People often ask, "What is the single most important environmental population problem facing the world today?" A flip answer would be, "The single most important problem is our misguided focus on identifying the single most important problem!”

“Most people are great, I just avoid the ones who think they are.”

“Some people are just not meant to be in this world. It's just too much for them.”

“Why me?" He said finally. "Are you on some sort of mission to fuck up my life?""I try my best to avoid you.""You're doing a hell of a job.""I honestly don't mean to cause you problems.""You don't cause problems. An unpiloted vampire causes problems. You cause catastrophes.”