“Juliet and Romeo be damned, you can't be in love until you've flossed your teeth next to the person at least three hundred times...”

“Romeo and Juliet, say they didn’t die but Juliet got pissed and took off. Everyone would know it was Romeo and Juliet, would always be Romeo and Juliet, even if later Romeo hooked up with Nancy. No one ever heard of Nancy, doesn’t even sound right, Romeo and Nancy. Everyone knows Romeo’s meant to be with Juliet. Even if Romeo loved Nancy, Nancy would always know she was never Juliet”

“nfatuation lasts anywhere from six months to three years, and you can't know you've found the right person until you're worked your way through it.”

“As it was, they had never even managed a successful first date before their romance had gone the way of Romeo and Juliet's -- except that Romeo and Juliet didn't wake up the next day, leave the crypt and say, "Now what?”

“Hannakins: I know you guys are living out your own private Romeo and Juliet love story, but remember: Both of them die in Act V. -A”

“Here is something that Peach, one of the Casserole Queens, says about men and women and love. You know that scene in Romeo and Juliet, where Romeo is standing on the ground looking longingly at Juliet on the balcony above him? One of the most romantic moments in all of literary history? Peach says there's no way that Romeo was standing down there to profess his undying devotion. The truth, Peach says, is that Romeo was just trying to look up Juliet's skirt.”