“Moscow was, as some said, the most beautiful mistress a man could ever want, but never cross her: like any good woman, she might just cut off your balls for the hell of it.”

“Jesus, Dean. I don’t know why you have me around with her watching your back”“You’re just jealous. But don’t worry. One day you too will have your very own little Amazon.”“I’ll just settle for a woman.”“If you’re lonely, you can have the inflatable sex doll Blue gave me for my birthday. I don’t want the twoof you to miss out on an opportunity for love.”“You didn’t like her?”“I wasn’t man enough to satisfy her cravings. I’m sure you’ll be different.”

“I am not a total pervert. Although, to be honest, consider the night we’ve been having. First handcuffs, andnow this? Way more kinky than I expected.”“Please,” M’cal said. “Do not talk.”“You like the strong and silent type, huh?”“If you do not shut up, I will kill you with my voice.”“I love it when you talk dirty.”“Fine. Which would you prefer to lose first? Your soul or your testicles?”“You know, you’re just a bit obsessed with chopping off balls. Do you have issues with your masculinity?”

“How’s his appendix?”“Like crap. They almost didn’t catch it in time, and he’s still doing the ass-plant in a hospital bed, beingdoted on by an army of hot nurses. Makes me sick.”“Maybeyou should rupture something.”“Any more of these stories out of you and I just might. ”

“Miri forced herself to remain very still. Never run from immortals, she remembered; her favorite line from a favorite movie. Never run.”

“Kidnappings, magic, long-lost love of my life. Nothing to rock the boat. All in a day’s work.”“Of course,” he said dryly. “Which is why you’re calling me in the middle of the night while I’m on myhoneymoon.”“Man, you’ve been married three months. The honeymoon is over. ““Not until we leave Russia,” Artur said. “And never even after that.”Which was like hearing the Incredible Hulk start talking like Gandhi.”

“Bai Shen did not move. He gazed down at Miri, and she could still see the fear, but this time it was mixed with guilt and deep raging sorrow that she could only guess had less to do with her, and everything to do with setting one's heart on a plan that had proven itself to be The Dumbest Move Alive.”