“People need people and the happiest people aresurrounded with friendly flesh.If you have ten kids they'll be so sweet --ten really sweet kids! Have twelve!What if there were 48 pro baseball teams,you could see a damn lot more games!And in this fashion we get awayfrom tragedy. Because tragedy comes when someone gets too special. ”

“In this state, dig it, you get twenty years for sale of dope to a minor. You only get five to ten for manslaughter. So like, the thing is, if you're selling to a kid and cops come, shoot the kid real quick!”

“The best part of being married is that now when we walk down the street, people won't just see two guys and a kid, they'll have to see a FAMILY.”

“Being childfree does not mean we don't like children; it means we don't care to have children of our own. We just want people to accept that: It's okay to be different, and not everyone has to have kids to be fulfilled. I do know some people get so much joy out of their kids. I see it in my friends who have kids. And I don't envy that, because I feel like I have so much joy in my own life. I appreciate theirs, and more power to them, but we have our own. This is our way of having joy.”

“Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake--you know, to send the right message to kids.”

“people will tell you were they have gone, they'll tell you where to go, but until you get there for yourself you never really know.”