“Kenny, when's the last time you had a physical," Roddy asks."What're you...the designated driver of my life?""Mad Dog House”

“In a society... so madly in love with oxymoron's... ask yourself this... ...when was the last time you ever bought anything for free?”

“By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!”

“Kenny is a drug, and I’ve just had the best hit of my life. I’m not losing this addiction. I’m in, all the way, pledging my voluntarily servitude to the gateway of my desire. Kenny was the freedom I was longing for. Love and all this wild pent up desire, proved to be the combination that set me free. But only Kenny had the power to unleash me. She scrubbed the impurity from my life and washed clean the world, so I could see it stark and clear for the very first time. Kenny perfumed my existence with her regal charm, her sovereign splendor. Kenny is in everyway sublime.”

“The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.”

“Can you draw a picture on the blackboard when somebody doesn't want you to? asked the rooster promptly."Yes," answered Kenny," if you write them a very nice poem.""What is an only goat?" "A lonely goat," answered Kenny.The rooster shut one eye and looked at Kenny."can you hear a horse on the roof?" he asked."If you know how to listen in the night," said Kenny."Can you fix a broken promise?""Yes," said Kenny,"if it only looks broken,but really isn't."The rooster drew his head back into his feathers and whispered, "What is a very narrow escape?""When somebody almost stops loving you," Kenny whispered back.”