“The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.”

“I came to hate the complainers, with their dry and crumbly lipsticks and their wrinkled rage and their stupid, flaccid, old-people sun hats with brims the breadth of Saturn's rings.”

“Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories -- those that don't work, those that break down, and those that get lost”

“A dean is the conductor of an orchestra made up entirely of composers.”

“The best of all lost arts is honesty”

“Honesty: The best of all the lost arts.”

“I like Joan of Arc best of all my books; and it is the best; I know it perfectly well.”