“Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.”

“What gets us into trouble is not what we don't know. It's what we know for sure that just ain't so.”

“I find that, as a rule, when a thing is a wonder to us it is not because of what we see in it, but because of what others have seen in it. We get almost all our wonders at second hand.”

“What would the new teacher, representing France, teach us? Railroading? No. France knows nothing valuable about railroading. Steamshipping? No. France has no superiorities over us in that matter. Steamboating? No. French steamboating is still of Fulton's date--1809. Postal service? No. France is a back number there. Telegraphy? No, we taught her that ourselves. Journalism? No. Magazining? No, that is our own specialty. Government? No; Liberty, Equality, Fraternity, Nobility, Democracy, Adultery the system is too variegated for our climate. Religion? No, not variegated enough for our climate. Morals? No, we cannot rob the poor to enrich ourselves.”

“Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.”

“April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four..”

“If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.”