“Don't go around thinking the world owes you a living. It was here first.”

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

“The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

“Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.”

“When the Lord finished the world, he pronounced it good. That is what I said about my first work, too. But Time, I tell you, Time takes the confidence out of these incautious opinions. It is more than likely that He thinks about the world, now, pretty much as I think about the Innocents Abroad. The fact is, there is a trifle too much water in both.”

“Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.”

“You see, he was going for the Holy Grail. The boys all took a flier at the Holy Grail now and then. It was a several years' cruise. They always put in the long absence snooping around, in the most conscientious way, though none of them had any idea where the Holy Grail really was, and I don't think any of them actually expected to find it, or would have known what to do with it if he had run across it.”