“Each place has its own advantages - heaven for the climate, and hell for the society.”

“I don't like to commit myself about Heaven and Hell, you see, I have friends in both places.”

“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”

“This nation is like all the others that have been spewed upon the earth--ready to shout for any cause that will tickle its vanity or fill its pocket. What a hell of a heaven it will be when they get all these hypocrites assembled there!- Letter to J. H. Twichell, 1/29/1901”

“Life should begin with age and it's privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and it's capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages.”

“What would the new teacher, representing France, teach us? Railroading? No. France knows nothing valuable about railroading. Steamshipping? No. France has no superiorities over us in that matter. Steamboating? No. French steamboating is still of Fulton's date--1809. Postal service? No. France is a back number there. Telegraphy? No, we taught her that ourselves. Journalism? No. Magazining? No, that is our own specialty. Government? No; Liberty, Equality, Fraternity, Nobility, Democracy, Adultery the system is too variegated for our climate. Religion? No, not variegated enough for our climate. Morals? No, we cannot rob the poor to enrich ourselves.”

“Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.”