“Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.”

“If you have to swallow a frog, don't stare at it too long.”

“Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.”

“All I say is, kings is kings, and you got to make allowances. Take them all around, they're a mighty ornery lot. It's the way they're raised.”

“This explains why, whenever a person says sie to me, I generally try to kill him, if a stranger.”

“I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”

“If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.”