“He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.”

“In Boston they ask, how much does he know? In New York, how much is he worth? In Philadelphia, who were his parents?”

“‎Rise early. It is the early bird that catches the worm. Don't be fooled by this absurd saw; I once knew a man who tried it. He got up at sunrise and a horse bit him.”

“It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.”

“You have heretofore found out, by my teachings, that man is a fool; you are now aware that woman is a damned fool.”

“I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect.”

“There's one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he's crooked.”