“Herodotus says, "Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all: the conscientious historian will correct these defects.”

“Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.”

“When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.”

“It may have happened, it may not have happened but it could have happened.”

“The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.”

“I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.”

“I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”