“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

“I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain”

“How could I sleep with a man I wasn't sure would attend my funeral?”

“The wind blew my words away from you. So while I told you I love you, the phrase was carried in the opposite direction and landed 333 miles away in the ears of a confused farmer. He was nice, though. He sent me a kind letter saying that while he was flattered, I wasn’t really his type.”

“I could picture life—school and everything else—continuing on without me. But I could not picture my funeral. Not at all. Mostly because I couldn’t imagine who would attend or what they would say.”

“A guy I grew up with recently died. I attended his funeral, but only because I thought there’d be free food afterwards. I brought to-go boxes with me. You know, to remember him for as long as I could.”