“It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.”

“There is no distinctly native American criminal class save Congress.”

“I have never tried, in even one single little instance, to help cultivate the cultivated classes. I was not equipped for it either by native gifts or training. And I never had any ambition in that direction, but always hunted for bigger game--the masses." - Mark Twain, a Biography”

“congress - that great, benevolent asylum for the helpless”

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”

“Are you an American? No, I am not an American. I am the American.”

“New Orleans food is as delicious as the less criminal forms of sin.”