“Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.”

“You cant reach old age by another man's road, my habits protect my life but they would assassinate you”

“Schoolboy days are no happier than the days of afterlife, but we look back upon them regretfully because we have forgotten our punishments at school and how we grieved when our marbles were lost and our kites destroyed – because we have forgotten all the sorrows and privations of the canonized ethic and remember only its orchard robberies, its wooden-sword pageants, and its fishing holidays.”

“Which is him?" The grammar was faulty, maybe, but we could not know, then, that it would go in a book someday.”

“If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.”

“Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.”

“‎The most important days in your life are the day you were born........and the day you find out why.”