“Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?”

“I can't bear fishing. I think people look like fools sitting watching a line hour after hour--or else throwing and throwing, and catching nothing.”

“Baptists:I'm a pious guy, but even I have my limits. I draw the line right around spending 8 hours in church every Sunday. Church should be a solemn 45 minutes to sit quietly and feel guilty, with donuts at the end to make you feel better. I don't go in for a full day of singing and dancing and rejoicing, no matter how nice the hats are. I prefer my Gospel monotonously droned to me from a pulpit, thank you very much.”

“Some of the most unkind,judgmental people I've ever known go to church every Sunday and read the Bible.I don't know how some people are able todisassociate their own cruelty and shortcomings from their religious obligations and convictions, but many are able to do that.”

“The Sisters were Southern Baptist, and they went to church on Saturdays and Sundays, and most other days, too.”

“You talk very easily of hours, sir! How long do you suppose, sir, that an hour is to a man who is choking for want of air?”