“Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

“Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

“We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again and that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.”

“Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”

“Some things you can't find out; but you will never know you can't by guessing and supposing: no, you have to be patient and go on experimenting until you find out that you can't find out.”

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”