“What God lacks is convictions- stability of character. He ought to be a Presbyterian or a Catholic or something- not try to be everything.”

“A man who goes around with a prophecy-gun ought never to get discouraged: if he will keep up his heart and fire at everything he sees, he is bound to hit something by and by.”

“I could not really complain, because he had only given me his word of honor as security; I ought to have required of him something substantial.”

“There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by ridicule, howsoever poor and witless. Observe the ass, for instance: his character is about perfect, he is the choicest spirit among all the humbler animals, yet see what ridicule has brought him to. Instead of feeling complimented when we are called an ass, we are left in doubt.”

“A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment, anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.”

“A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.”

“The test of any good fiction is that you should care something for the characters; the good to succeed, the bad to fail. The trouble with most fiction is that you want them all to land in hell together, as quickly as possible.”