“When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.”

“It was indeed a glad and gracious time, and the half dozen rash spirits that ventured to disapprove of the war and cast a doubt upon its righteousness straightway got such a stern and angry warning that for their personal safety's sake they quickly shrank out of sight and offended no more in that way.”

“Their very imagination was dead. When you can say that of a man he has struck bottom... there is no lower deep for him.”

“There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.”

“When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them--then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are far apart.”

“Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.”

“In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, one when he was a boy and one when he was a man”