“Wilson stopped and stood silent. Inattention dies a quick and sure death when a speaker does that.”

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”

“Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" - which is but a matter of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention"; but the wise man saith, "Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET." - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar”

“When ill luck begins, it does not come in sprinkles, but in showers.”

“Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one Fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so.- Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar”

“We have to keep our God placated with prayers, and even then we are never sure of him--how much higher and finer is the Indian's God......Our illogical God is all-powerful in name, but impotent in fact; the Great Spirit is not all-powerful, but does the very best he can for his injun and does it free of charge.”

“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”