“You have heretofore found out, by my teachings, that man is a fool; you are now aware that woman is a damned fool.”

“It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.”

“Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool.”

“He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.”

“I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect.”

“Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”

“‎Rise early. It is the early bird that catches the worm. Don't be fooled by this absurd saw; I once knew a man who tried it. He got up at sunrise and a horse bit him.”