“It may not seem this way at first, but your workplace is actually built on a well-ordered system of individuals and groups with defined stations of importance, all interacting to make your company run and appear busy.”

“You are in the hands of experts who have researched and perfected a system of corporate ladder climbing that, until recently, no one has dared consider feasible.”

“Just as no one knows why the sun rises every morning, so is Faking Smart! an enigma that has grasped the imagination of tycoons and business scholars from all walks of life and from every corner of this massive sphere we call Earth. 'We don't know why it works,' quotes the FSRI. 'It just does! So, let's leave it at that.”

“Based loosely on NASA monkey research, Soviet paranormal studies, chaos theory and the lost experimental writings of Thorstein Veblen, the Faking Smart! Six-Week Program is one of the most advanced six-week programs of its kind.”

“In a sense, we here at the FSRI are like giant wizards at the controls of an incredible machine, operating levers and buttons from behind a great tapestry to provide you with the level of motivation and direction necessary for you to succeed!”

“All humans at some time experience injustice, assault, disqualification, invasion and betrayal. No person is completely shielded. We need not trace our family trees very far back or study for long what life was like for our forbears to uncover humanity's abusiveness. The inherited scars of our multigenerational families exist in our family systems as we know them today. The abuse of the past often exists as the shame of today, and the shame is perpetuated through our patterns of interaction.”

“Now while it's hanging in the gallery I pine for it. But once it's on my own wall, perhaps it will be different -- once it's here all the time, every time I lift my eyes ... when I come into the living room in the morning and in the evening ... Will it make me happy? Yes, a voice inside him said, it will make you happy.”