“Doctor I've wrestled with reality for 40 years and I'm happy to say that I've finally won out over it.”

“I've been spending my life among flyspecks... while miracles have been leaning on lampposts at 4th and Fairfax”

“Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, "In this world, Elwood, you must be" - she always called me Elwood - "In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant." Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me. ”

“In this world, Elwood, you must be oh-so-smart or -oh-so-pleasant. For years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. And you may quote me.”

“In all the years I've been a therapist, I've yet to meet one girl who likes her body.”

“Thank you, Dain," she said. "I should like that very much. I've never seen a proper wrestling match before.""I daresay it will be a novel experience all round," he said, gravely eyeing her up and down. "I can't wait to see Sherburne's face when I arrive with my lady wife in tow.""There, you see?" she said, unoffended. "I told you there were other benefits to having a wife. I can come in very handy when you wish to shock your friends.”

“There is no substitute for books in the life of a child.”