“as a child she thought if she could just pull away the fence they would turn back into the beautiful horses they really were and escape to the old plains. she had hope in that power”

“I almost could.I could almost leave and never look back.Like Mr. Bender, I could leave everything I was behind, including my name.Leave because of Allysand all the things she says I am.Leave because of all the things I am afraid that I will never be again.Leave, because maybe I’m not enough.Leave because of Allys, Senator Harris, and half the world knows better than Father and Mother and maybe Ethan, too.Leave.Because the old Jenna was so absorbed in her own needs that she said yes when she knows she should have said no,and the shame of nightcould be hidden in a new place behind a new name.But friends are complicated.There is the staying.Staying because of Kara and Locke and all that they will never be except trapped.Staying because for them, time is running out and I am their their last chance.Staying for the old Jenna and all she owes Kara and Locke and maybe all the new Jenna owes them, too.Staying because of ten percent and all I hope I might be.Staying because of Mr. Bender’s erased life and regrets.Staying for connection.Staying because two meis enough to make one of meworth nothing at all.And staying because maybe Lily does love the new Jennaas much as the old one, after all.Because maybe, given time, people do change,maybe laws change.Maybe we all change.”

“she whispers it aloud, 'lorelei.' the sound makes her ache, makes the word even more beautiful, even more real. ”

“what's fate to you, opal? she asks. opal leans back, too. oh, lots of things. lots and lots of things all pushed up against each other that makes something else happen. so much pushing it just can't happen any other way - unless you push back to make it not. ”

“I suppose you're right about some perspectives. Just a few weeks ago, I thought you were a dickhead.”

“but she still burns. she is on fire with need. burning that goes deeper than her skin, etched deeply, maybe in her soul, and there seems to be nothing for it, no balm, save inching her arms up to hold herself and wishin the arms weren't her own. ”

“Jenna reached over and held one of my hands, Kara held the other, and I felt like the universe was holding us all.For that night, maybe just for that magic moment, it all seemed to make so much sense, like the thousand puzzle pieces of my life were all in place and I knew the How and Why of all things. It was one of those moments that I was sure would stay impressed on me forever because it was real and true. It was as tangible as the blanket beneath me. I felt lik I had touched something, something as big as the universe, and it had touched me back. I didn't know that even a big moment like that could be snuffed out in a matter of days by packing to go home, by the wrong teacher on the wrong school schedule, or by my uncle getting his brains blown out at a traffic stop.But all that just made Kara and Jenna brighter stars in my sky. I had no way of knowing that, in a matter of weeks, even those stars would be snuffed out.”