“ChoiceI needed it like I needed air.Bit no one could hear me. No one could listen. No words. No sound.No voice.I couldn't even dream myself away.Choices were made.None of them mine.At first I wondered if it was hell.And then I knew it was.”

“Jenna reached over and held one of my hands, Kara held the other, and I felt like the universe was holding us all.For that night, maybe just for that magic moment, it all seemed to make so much sense, like the thousand puzzle pieces of my life were all in place and I knew the How and Why of all things. It was one of those moments that I was sure would stay impressed on me forever because it was real and true. It was as tangible as the blanket beneath me. I felt lik I had touched something, something as big as the universe, and it had touched me back. I didn't know that even a big moment like that could be snuffed out in a matter of days by packing to go home, by the wrong teacher on the wrong school schedule, or by my uncle getting his brains blown out at a traffic stop.But all that just made Kara and Jenna brighter stars in my sky. I had no way of knowing that, in a matter of weeks, even those stars would be snuffed out.”

“I almost could.I could almost leave and never look back.Like Mr. Bender, I could leave everything I was behind, including my name.Leave because of Allysand all the things she says I am.Leave because of all the things I am afraid that I will never be again.Leave, because maybe I’m not enough.Leave because of Allys, Senator Harris, and half the world knows better than Father and Mother and maybe Ethan, too.Leave.Because the old Jenna was so absorbed in her own needs that she said yes when she knows she should have said no,and the shame of nightcould be hidden in a new place behind a new name.But friends are complicated.There is the staying.Staying because of Kara and Locke and all that they will never be except trapped.Staying because for them, time is running out and I am their their last chance.Staying for the old Jenna and all she owes Kara and Locke and maybe all the new Jenna owes them, too.Staying because of ten percent and all I hope I might be.Staying because of Mr. Bender’s erased life and regrets.Staying for connection.Staying because two meis enough to make one of meworth nothing at all.And staying because maybe Lily does love the new Jennaas much as the old one, after all.Because maybe, given time, people do change,maybe laws change.Maybe we all change.”

“I decide that sometimes definitions are wrong. Even if they're written in a dictionary. Identities aren't always separate and distinct. Sometimes they ARE wrapped up with others. Sometimes, for a few minutes, maybe they can even be shared. And if I am ever fortunate enough to return to Mr. Bender's garden, I wonder if the birds will see that piece of him that is wrapped up in me.”

“WhiteThere was a moment in the darkness when the fear lifted.A moment where white surrounded me.Hope. Lily, and someone else, and a sprinkling of water."Holy water, Jenna.""You can let go if you need to.""Forgiveness, Jenna."But I couldn't let go.It wasn't in my power.I was already swirling, flying, falling.To someplace deep I didn't understand.Where all the sounds buy my own voice disappeared.Only me.For so long.I don't want to be alone anymore. (120)”

“I wonder at the weight of a Sparrow.”

“These memories descend out of nowhere, giving me pieces of who I was, but their significance is lost. I sigh and resume my walk, not knowing if this memory is important, or just more of the jumbled trivia of Jenna's life, like sock shopping. Maybe that is all any life is composed of, trivia that eventually adds up to a person, and maybe I just don't have enough of it yet to be a whole one.”