“It strikes me that whatever advantages there are to being a boy—getting to stay out late and having other people wash your clothes and bring you plates of stuff---get undercut by having to play football.”

“Insanity is refusal to stay in the present as other people experience it. You see, insanity is really like getting caught in a time warp. You can't find your way out. So at some point, people make a decision that they'd rather be with the insanity as others have defined it, then to play in the game that most other people have accepted as reality.”

“The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes - naturally, no one wants to live any other way.”

“Nobody gets to be Queen of England by being loveable. You will have to play your cards right.”

“Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can’t get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.”

“All right, you got that out of your system. Can I get back in the boat without you striking me again? Or should I stay out here enjoying the marine life?""Why don't you swim around until you find a shark? Then you can discuss how much the two of you have in common”