“All five hundred boys want to go out with the same ten anorexic girls." She said, "I'm a good musician, but not many guys are looking for a girl that plays great Bach preludes.”

“I like to rock and roll, but I'm a mushy guy, too. I want to be the guy that all the girls love and all the guys want to hang out with”

“The reason girls can't find a good guy is because they look in the wrong places. Go to a library. Guys at a party are just looking for the next girl to fuck.”

“When boys and girls go out to play there is always someone left behind, and the boy who is left behind is no use to the girl who is left behind.”

“It's a secret code," said Calvin. "Girls are not not like boys. If a boy wants to kill you, he says 'I'm going to kill you.' If a girl wants to kill you, she says, 'We need to talk.' That's the code."I gasped. "Has a girl ever wanted to talk to you?" I asked. "Yup," said Calvin."How come you're still alive?" I asked."I vomited," said Calvin.”

“All a girl really wants is for one guy to prove to her that they are not all the same.”