“Lettuce is too Flat”
“I have an apple that thinks its a pear. And a bun that thinks it’s a cat. And a lettuce that thinks its a lettuce.""It’s a clever lettuce, then.""Hardly," she said with a delicate snort. "Why would anything clever think it’s a lettuce?""Even if it is a lettuce?" I asked."Especially then," she said. "Bad enough to be a lettuce. How awful to think you are a lettuce too.”
“It is said that the effect of eating too much lettuce is 'soporific'.”
“I'm hungry enough that I started to salivate at the sight of lettuce. I repeat: lettuce.”
“Lettuce is the Devil.”
“Laminated Lettuce ... perfect for holiday gift giving.”