“No one is excluded from the astronaut corps based on penis size.”

“A dream dictionary is a one-size-fits-all-palm-reading-astrology-column-in-the-newspaper-carrot-equals-penis secret-code decoder.”

“Every man is blessed with his gifts from the Lord. One of mine happens to be a penis large enough that, if it had a penis of its own, my penis’s penis would be larger than your penis.”

“What is love anyway? From my new vantage point, I realize that love is nothing more than a messy conglomeration of need, desperation, fear of death and insecurity about penis size.”

“John, let me make one thing clear,” Jim said, cutting me off in his most stern, evangelical voice. “Every man is blessed with his gifts from the Lord. One of mine happens to be a penis large enough that, if it had a penis of its own, my penis’ penis would be larger than your penis.”........"Fuck all of you,” John retorted. “You don’t even exist. We’re all just a figment of my cock’s imagination.”

“Men do not love equally! Every man loves based on the size of cookles of his heart.”