“Because I'm not, in fact, depressed, Prozac makes me manic and numb - one of the reasons I slice my arm in the first place is that I'm coked to the gills on something utterly wrong for what I have.”

“It gets harder as times go by, because memory is the first casualty of manic depression. When I'm manic, all I remember is the moment. When I'm depressed, all I remember is the pain. The surrounding details are lost to me.”

“I contemplate the idea that maybe I'm an alcoholic. I get this occassionally, the need to define myself as something-or-the-other, and at various times in my life have wondered if I'm a Goth, a homosexul, a Jew, a Catholic or a manic depressive, whether I am adopted, or have a hole in my heart, or possess the ability to move objects with the power of my mind, and have always, most regretfully, come to the conclusion that I'm none of the above. The fact is I'm actually not ANYTHING.”

“Does anybody know how I feel?Sometimes I'm numb...Sometimes I'm overcome...Does anybody care what's going on?Do I have to wear my scarsLike a badge on my arm?For you to see meI need to release”

“I'm depressed! I'm completely depressed! I am firmly convinced that there is no one in this world who really likes me!""So what else is new?”

“I don't run for my physical health, though that's a lucky side effect. I run because I'm tortured inside. I run to soothe the violence in my mind, the depression, the panic, the disappointments, the shame, the frustration, the helplessness against time. You could say I'm running from something... though I'd rather think I'm running TOWARD something. Though I'm probably running just to stay in one place. It seems like most of life is just maintenance, after all.”