“I have not lost my fascination with death. I have not become a noticeably less intense person. I have not, nor will I ever, completely lose the longing for that something, that thing that I believe will fill an emptiness inside me. I do believe that the emptiness was made greater by the things that I did to myself.”
“...I thought that having someone to love, having someone love me back, made me a stronger person. But it was the opposite. It made me weaker because it led me to believe that I couldn't survive without those things. And I spent so long afraid of being alone that I never did anything for myself. I never did anything with myself, which made it all the easier to believe I wasn't capable.”
“I don't think you can ever fill the empty space with the thing you lost.”
“I believed the reason there was a God was to prevent such atrocities from happening to the same person twice. But nothing prepared me for this: I have done what I've sworn I could never do; I have become my own nightmare... I have lost control. ”
“I can think of nothing but the stars. It is like a piece of my soul had been lost, empty, and it is now filled with the light of a million stars. They are all that I have ever dreamed of; they are nothing that I ever expected... I will never, never be the same. I have seen stars. Real stars.”
“The important thing is to believe. Not to hope but to believe. There is a difference. I believe in these things and so that helps me do what I have to do and accomplish what it is I want to accomplish.”