“Can you burn me up with holy water? Poke me to death with your crucifix? Pelt me with communion wafers?”

“Don't tell anyone, but on the pagan day of the sun god Ra, I kneel at the foot of an ancient instrument of torture and consume ritualistic symbols of blood and flesh. ...And if any of you care to join me, come to the Harvard chapel on Sunday, kneel beneath the crucifix, and take Holy Communion.”

“Damn it. I mean, darn it. I thought the church was on fire. I’m so sorry. How do you clean up holy water? Is it like communion? Do you have to lick it off the floor? Can I help you?”

“[According to 1348 theorists, poisoning of Christian water by Jews was the cause of Black Death.]Even the poison used to contaminate the Christian water supply was described in meticulous detail. It was "about the size of an egg," except when it was the "size of a nut" or a "large nut," "a fist" or "two fists"- and it came packaged in "a leather pouch," except when it was packaged in "linen cloth," "a rag," or a "paper coronet"; and the poison was variously made from lizards, frogs, and spiders- when it was not made from the hearts of Christians and from Holy Communion wafers.”

“Tis a Fearful Thing‘Tis a fearful thingto love what death can touch.A fearful thingto love, to hope, to dream, to be –to be,And oh, to lose.A thing for fools, this,And a holy thing,a holy thingto love.For your life has lived in me,your laugh once lifted me,your word was gift to me.To remember this brings painful joy.‘Tis a human thing, love,a holy thing, to lovewhat death has touched.”

“No one told me holy water had chlorine in it.”