“Did vampirism encourage Stockholm syndrome?”

“So you're a vampire?""Yes. But don't be scared. I'm still a nice person.”

“...you just never knew when a totally normal vampire errand would end in a bloodbath with severed-limb soap.”

“I stared harder. Come on, vampire mojo. Do your thing. "Don't. Kill. Yourself." "Why. Are you. Talking. Like this?”

“The vampire bible, bound in human skin, written in blood, and full of prophecies that were never wrong. Trouble was, if you read the thing too long, it drove you nuts. Not "I'm having a bad day and feel bitchy" nuts or PMS nuts. "I think I'll commit felony assault on my friends and rape my boyfriend" nuts.”

“Okay. And you'll, uh, make sure he doesn't hurt anybody when he's, you know, nutty and out of his mind with blood lust?" For the next ten years?Liam winced (well, he blinked), but Sophie soldiered on. "My queen, I have experience in these matters. Guarding young vampires--I--all will be as you wish."Yeah, right. That'd be a fucking first.”

“I know it's practical for career women, but sneakers with suits? Jesus couldn't possibly weep harder than I did.”