“I slipped one of the shoes off, looked at the inside. Property of Antonia O'Neill Taylor. I knew it. My stepmother! The bitch meant to bury me wearing her cast off shoes!”

“I zoomed in on the shoe department like a blonde homing pigeon. Shoes, shoes everywhere! Ah, sweet shoes. I truly think you can take the measure of a civilization by looking at its footwear.”

“It's nice to see you again, Laura.""Thank you, Mrs. T-""No, no, no. Please, my name is-""Mud," I suggested. "Mud Barfbag Taylor. Call her Asshat for short."~Laura, Antonia, Betsy”

“Interesting shade #23 Lush Golden Blonde highlights. Heyyyyyy.... The woman in the awful suit was me! The woman in the cheap shoes was me!”

“there wasn't a damned thing I could say without coming off like a mega-bitch. And it wasn't even nine o'clock. I wanted to put off mega-bitchery until noon at least. Or save it for George. George! The perfect person to take my pissiness out on. I'd do what people all over the world did--take my domestic problems to work and punish the innocent with my inability to be in an adult relationship.That's the first time in the history of George that "the innocent" has referred to George.”

“I really did have my reasons. I don't blame you for being mmpphhh-phargle."She mmpphh-phargled because he tugged her into his embrace and buried his nose in her hair.”

“Take your hands off her, Sinclair told the guy behind me, Or they'll write books about what I'll do to you.”