“I stared harder. Come on, vampire mojo. Do your thing. "Don't. Kill. Yourself." "Why. Are you. Talking. Like this?”

“Majesty, I beg your forgiveness for the idignity you suffered and offer you the head of our enemy as—""Put that thing down," I said impatiently. "I can't talk to you when you're shaking his head like a damned maraca.”

“I—I adore you, too. Well, I don't know if I adore you. That's not really the word I'd use. But I—I—" I managed to wrench it out. God, this was hard! "I love you.""Of course you do," he said, totally unsurprised."WHAT? I finally tell you my deepest, most personal feelings and you're all, 'Yeah, I already got that memo'? This, this is why you drive me nuts! This is why it's so hard to tell you things! I take it back.”

“Tina was kneeling before me, holding Donald's head by the hair and very plainly trying to hand it to me. "Majesty, I beg your forgiveness for the indignity you suffered and offer you the head of our enemy as—" "Put that thing down," I said impatiently. "I can't talk to you when you're shaking his head like a damned maraca.”

“Why don't you mind your own fucking business?" I snapped. "If I want to take my sister to my place of business, that's my own damned business and not any of your business." Was I overusing the word business? Fuck it. "So mind your own business.”

“Zombieland reference," Jon said, nodding."How do you know that? That's a thousand-year-old reference!" I looked at laura. "I can't think of a single movie from a thousand years ago.""Uh...Betsy...""Don't say it." You know how you don't know how stupid something is until you hear yourself say it? That happened to me a lot.”

“So you're a vampire?""Yes. But don't be scared. I'm still a nice person.”